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"Now why were you commenting on my itty bitties?" Elaine asked Rhonda as I loved them."Oh, that would be because Comedy Central wants to do a special with them," Rhonda said. Elaine sat straight up and I was thankful that even though small, her breasts were soft. I could have lost a tooth."I will not do nude television!" I'm kidding. They want you to do a half-hour comedy special," Rhonda laughed."How am I ever going to be taken as a serious artist if people keep laughing at me?" Elaine asked. She flopped back in my arms with one hand across her forehead like a drama queen. I resumed my nipple-lapping duties. "Besides, I can't do half an hour. I do five minute monologues." Oh, they know. They've licensed all 250 of them. Even the ones that weren't funny," Rhonda said. "They've got a nightly stand-up show where all the comedians get just five minutes. They're feeding one of your tapes in at least once a week. Now they just want you to stretch one out into a feature." Rhonda, you're. ”“This is your first time, isn’t it?” she asked.“Yes,” I responded, “but I’m ready, I think.”She bent down and attached cuffs to my ankles. She moved to the back of the stage and I felt my arms being drawn up over my head. But of course, she didn’t stop the pulley when I was on my toes and my body was drawn tight. She just kept going until my feet were suspended six inches off of the floor. It wasn’t as awful as it sounds. The cuffs are heavily padded. She finally stopped the pulley when my legs were drawn tight and spread wide apart and the chains holding my ankles to the floor were drawn tight.She stood there with her back against the black curtain at the back of the stage. She stood unmoving, like a beautiful statue of a naked woman. The contrast of her parchment white skin against the black velvet curtain covering the back wall was striking. I was left suspended to await my fate. I felt every eye in the club on me but I drew strength from the knowledge Kyle is watching and that he.
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